How to have high self- esteem when your whole life has been a misery?

absolutley heart breaking bro. I was bullied also when i was growing up, but not to your extent. But what helped me get out of my depression was a hobby. I started dancing and before you know it i was cured. I do suggest you do something that lets you express your emotions. maybe be a song writer, dancer, or poetry writer. You have alot of emotions to express, so use it to your advantage bro. turn this negative into a posative. You were talking about having no self esteem. that was me 3 years ago. now im a confident person. live your life bro. don't let others tell you that you can't do something. Prove them wrong and don't dwell in the past move forward. Life goes on with or without you. it's up too you on how you want to live it. But do me a favor. If you have a facebook search me up. im from hawaii and i'd appreciate it if we just keep in touch. I was you 3 years ago but no one was their too help me. So take this oppurtunity and let someone that's been through it help you through it. much love bro. keep in touch.